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23 September 2011

High Expectation Libra


Tonight, we're officially in *Libra* month (24 September - 23 October)!
That means, my birthday is coming soon!
Guess what?
He asked me to check his email for the flight confirmation detail.
and I accidentally found out that,
he has been in contact with an online pastry shop owner.
He was inquiring about the price of this cake...


And this is the cake that he's planning to order and surprise me this year!
OMG My heart was broken into pieces seriously.
I don't understand how this Nikon dslr camera cake related to me?
Major dissapointment.
I know. I sounds so demanding! That's not my point...
Btw the price of that cake is freaking $230!
I prefer a small cake that cost $30 and he give me the remaining $200 instead!


It has been 5 years! and I am really sad that he still so far from me!
He don't know what I like, He don't know what I am thinking about...
He don't understand me. *sigh

Here's our conversation;
"You are planning to order that cake for my birthday?"
"Why do you read my email?"

"How this DSLR camera cake related to me?"
"(laugh happily) hahaha it's interesting! I believed it can surprise you"

"I am so sad! you don't understand me at all,
why don't you use the $230 to buy an actual camera for me instead of a cake"
"I really really really don't understand"
"Please don't make me cry every year"
(I know this sentence sounds fierce and spicy, but I really cry every year)

I know that he put effort to celebrate my birthday and wish to please me.
However, it's either my problem or his problem.
I never seems to be satisfied with his plan EVERY year.
(mum scold me for being unhappy and complaining about the gifts he gave me)

I believed I have some weaknesses too! I admit that.
And these are the weaknesses that I list out;

1. I have high expectation on everything.
2. I always assume that I am smarter than him in terms of planning things.
But in fact, I expect my partner to be way smarter than me.
3. I am a drama queen (and he always call me drama queen)
I expect my partner to be as romantic and sweet as in the movie..
4. Ok. I think I will stop here because,
whatever the reasons are, the culprit is the word "EXPECTATION"
Expectation kills!
and high expectation will make you suffer and kill you at the end.

I admit that this is my wrong.
I should slap myself and come back to reality.
But, I can't! Because I believed I am not totally wrong!
my expectation are all reasonable and affordable!

1. On my 17th Birthday, we were not together yet.
He gathered all my friends, surprised me
and celebrated my birthday. He gave me 33 roses and a cake
+ I forgot what was the gift
That is my first surprise and I believed,
also the last event that happened in my life.

2. On my 18th Birthday, he gave me a necklace that was pretty expensive and..
I cried! I never worn necklace and in fact, I hate to wear necklace.
I have been a fans of RINGS.
I cried because, again, he don't understand me.
Secondly, the necklace is nice and expensive but unfortunately useless.

3. On 19th Birthday, he decorated my room and surprised me.
The birthday gift for that year was GUCCI =D
In fact, that's not really a gift for me.
Before my birthday he has been planning to buy a dog.
On my birthday, he said, he's going to buy a dog for himself me.

4. On my 20th Birthday, he bought a Louis Vuitton bag for me.
That's my first branded bag and I cried too.
Muahaha..I won't publish what happened but it was a sad thing.
And happy afterward..

5. On my 21st Birthday, because this is a special and remarkable birthday,
I requested for an Anna Sui themed cake and purple roses.
What came out?
An esplanade shaped cake and purple colour flower - not rose.
I cried badly. 21st Birthday is really really important to me.
I expect something MORE and PERFECT. T-T
Is that really difficult to get a cake with an Anna Sui word on top?

6. I told him, why don't you just give me money.
Instead of giving me a $230 cake that make me sad, I rather receive the money.
I believe that way, I will be less sad this year.
(stabbed him deeply) I know my word hurts him a lot.
I am so sorry baby.

What I want is really really simple.
I don't need expensive thing. I don't need expensive dinner.
I just want you to show me how much you know about me.
Love is not and can't be shown by price tag (this is his problem).

He always assume that he love me SO MUCH
by giving me a lot of expensive stuff;
A Louis Vuitton Bag
A Gucci Wallet
A pair of Chanel Earing
A marc by marc Jacobs bangle
A Ted and Baker Cardigan

Honestly I love those BUT those can be easily bought if you have money!

What I want is personalization, I prefer;
A bowl of hand made meat ball (I love meatball)
A $10 accessories that he knew I like.
A small or mini cake with purple roses on top-
I swear I prefer a really small, mini cake.
(that's better than a $230 cake)
A hand-written letter that he write personally.

I believed those things mentioned above cost not more than $50!

It's all about SINCERITY!
Those small gestures mean a lot to me!
It means he notices and understand my preference.
It means he take all my word seriously and remember it in his heart.
Those are what called EFFORT.


What's so difficult to just write a letter, make some meatballs or
go to bugis and buy something cheap and nice things for me??
(Btw, the place that he hate the most in Singapore is Bugis Street
and Bugis Street is the place that I love the most)
We are two contrasting species.
I don't understand.

Now, readers, can you tell me, it's MY problem or HIS?
I am tired of being sad on my birthday every year.
I have just learnt to expect less and I will be happier..
And now, I'll leave it to fate.


Muahahaha I found this video and..
I don't agree! I prefer BBQ and Sushi LOL..

Zodiac is interesting!

5 comments :

  1. hope he wont disappoint you again this year ! :[

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sometimes, its the imperfection that makes you remember him more. Love is about finding the similarities and accept the differences.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi..

    I hope he will slowly change to the way you like but it will takes time.. be patient :)

    anyway, I know how you feel.. so in my point of view, at least your BF still make an effort for you, he even remember ur birthday or anniversary date, its really good already.. it just the way he express it.. is different, maybee coz he likes branded stuff?

    I think you just need to talk with him and take it easy, coz some friends of mine.. her boyfriend & husband, doesnt even make any EFFORT by surprising their GF/ wife's birthday or anniversary.. imagine how sad they are.. So be happy dear.. if u still upset just think at the bright side that "at least my BF still done somethin to surprise n not every man could do the same" ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. yeah...I think I'd still consider myself lucky. I hope our relationship will last too =) Thanks for the advise though..I feel better now..

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for your lovely comment!

Love,
ReneOct